empty voices keep ringing in my ear.
i just keep wishing that you were here.
i remember you lying next to me.
i remember that there was no place else i wanted to be.
maybe you wondered how i ended up with you.
i'd give you an answer; simply because i love you.
i never expected much.
but i guess i ran out of luck.
it wasnt long before you left.
and everytime i listened to our song.
i kept thinking; where did i go wrong.
i cry for hours and i keep thinking.
what did i do to deserve this.
my heart was all i have to give.
even now tears keep pouring down my face.
its memories of you i can't erase.
i think about you everyday.
and what i used to think was: ALWAYS.

a sudden memory just popped up. a memory of a late night. a memory of us.
sitting down near the sea, its black and endless, its right infront of us. you could smell the sea where we were. i was lying on your lap, my sweater covering me and your arms around me because i was cold. we were talking about absolutely nothing. but we were laughing. happy. happy that we were together. happy that we had each other. happy for the hidden kisses. happy for everything we had between us. i never laughed so much when i did with you. because you. just you. made me happy.

then another memory hits me in the head. a knock on the door, not sure who it was. i hesitated opening it. but i was glad i did. because there you were. with food in your hands. i was sick. you asked me for a cigarette. i gave it to you. i closed the door and i start crying. immensedly touched by your actions. i fell in love with you all over again.

now, i look at our pictures and i'd scream at myself. i kep asking myself where did i go wrong. even though the odds were against us. we fought through it. 10 fucking months and its all thrown away.
you ignore me and you keep quiet because you have nothing to say.
i stay silent because i have too much to say and i dont know where to start.

let this be the beginning and the end.
i love you.
and i told you that i'll never leave you.
so i guess you took the chance and left.
you left me here with no one to fall to.
no chances.
no safety net.
nothing left.
i look at you and i forget eberything i wanted to say.
i look at you and i revel in the last bit of concern you have for me.
baby, there wasn't closure.
i dont want one.
i just want you to say that you believe in us and that we'll start all over.


i wont be stupid and say go find soneone new.
i'll be happy if you are.
that will make me a hypocrite.

i still love you as tears are pouring down.